Thursday, September 29, 2016

Dear 2015 Megan... 10 Things I wish I would tell myself 1 year ago...

Let me start out by saying I have this intense desire in my heart to be a "creative" person. This blog (and my future podcast series with Hallie Vincent) is my first real medium for being just that... creative. Now that those "monthly baby updates" have really stopped being so interesting to the masses (read sarcastically), I am trying to dedicate time weekly to post a blog update.

Do you enjoy those Timehop app updates or the "Memories" notifications on Facebook as much as I do? They used to annoy me, but I am a mom now and overly sentimental about all life things, so they have become part of my daily routine. 

Seeing updates from 1 year ago, I am pained at the thought of what I was going through just one year ago. We were just short of 3 months into being parents to our little red head, and the throws of colic and new parenthood had me reeling. I look back on pictures or blog posts and think about how many hours Wyatt and I cried that day. I think about how un-bonded I was to that little guy, and how distant I felt from anyone else breathing near or far away from me.

Suffice it to say, things are different now, and all three of the peas have successfully coexisted in our pod for almost 15 months! We are stringing more good days than bad together now, so let's celebrate that! Each day I live, on this side of new baby-hood, I have more and more things I wish I could say, not to new moms, but specifically to ME, new mom ME.

1. Throw hope out the window, the colic doesn't end until about 12 months...
This one would certainly pain me to say in my 2015 tear-soaked face, but stop living week to week thinking Wyatt's crying and temperament will get better. It doesn't for a long while, sweetie. We just recently strung 2 good days together (IN A ROW)!

2. Who cares about the breastfeeding...
Absolutely, keep doing it, but it doesn't last much longer. Really, I could have made more of an effort, and my shortcomings were my own fault, but compared to all the other things you will have to deal with over the next year, this is NOTHING

3. Let other people help you...
I was so scared to let anyone care for my little guy that even when my mom would come visit us, we wouldn't even use her as a babysitter. Instead, we just all spent time at home discussing Wyatt and how difficult he was being. Going back, I would say - LEAVE THE DAMN HOUSE! Go out to dinner and drink too much wine with your man. Grandmommy's got this!

4. Spend more time on the floor together...
After work and picking Wyatt up from daycare, I was more worried about getting dinner ready or cleaning the house, that I rarely got down on the floor to play with him. It took me a year to realize that is far more important than any other housewife duty. 

5. Plan NOTHING on the weekends...
Don't accept every offer to do things on the weekends. This is our only time together as a family unit. Yes, you need to get out as a family and do things together, but you don't have to have things planned every weekend. Say no OR say yes and don't feel like you have to commit to the entire duration of an event. Sanity is way more important than hurting people's feelings when you decline an invitation. (I NEED THAT STILL, NOW)

6. Church...
Wyatt will struggle being dropped off at church - just keep going, but start making notes before you leave the house on tips and tricks for dealing with Wyatt. That will help a little bit.

7. Get Wyatt in a swim class or some sort of water class regularly...
He struggled in the water this summer, start him in a water class early and go consistently, and he will be just fine! 

8. Talk to someone...
I wish I would have sought out help or read more about postpartum. 2015 Megan, you have postpartum. It is real, dark, and it is scary. Find someone to talk to, and don't internalize it anymore.

9. You will have people in your life struggling to start families, and you will not know what to say...
I know this is hard to believe, but you will forget how hard it was for you to start a family. You will eventually feel removed from that part of your life, and move on to other struggles. But 2015 Megan needs to know that there are people in your life, who you love most, who will struggle to become a mom. They are heart broken and will come to you. Those words of support will be hard for you to form because you will have lost sight of what God did in your life in that season. Start praying NOW for people who will need you, and pray that God starts giving you the words that you will eventually have to share.

10. That small group of mom friends that you have, we now call each other the "Mom Tribe," and they will change your life.
Tears are flowing again here in 2016, just thinking of what these 3 women mean to you. The casual bond you shared before all of you had kids quickly becomes a sisterhood through a couple quick trips away without kiddos. You need these women, they get you, and you need to start getting vulnerable with them real quick. They are going to change your life within a year, and God is going to show himself through them. God is equipping you to be a solid part of the Mom Tribe puzzle too, and I know it doesn't feel like you can add anything positive to anyone's life at the moment, but you do on a daily basis. You are loved.

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